Malone's Bar and Grill (Kits)

vs.

2210 Cornwall St. @ Yew
Vancouver, BC
www.malones.bc.ca

Okaaaaaaay. So, I've already talked about burgers with non-beef patties right? Well, here's the first review of the non-beef kind.
Malone's Bar and Grill, a supposed institution in Vancouver, boasts 'over 20 burgers and sandwiches', only 5 of which can be classified as a true burger. I will distinguish reviews by burger and try not to base future ventures to Malone's on this specific experience (I said I'll try...).

Oh, Fusion Tuna Burger, why did you sound so awesome and turn out to be so...well...inedible???

So, what's in it? Well, a grilled cajun tuna filet, for starters, complimented by salsa, guac, pickled ginger, wasabi aoli and 'all the fixings'.

MEXASIAN? Whaaaaaaaaa? People, if you want to do fusion, you must specialize in it (I know I will end up eating those words in a future post but for now...shut it). Just cuz the word rolls off the tongue does not mean it will work. It's like mixing tequila with sake...it will always make you barf.

So now we have Luche libre vs Samurai...actually, that would be a wicked match to see....
It was a fight to the death between the jalapeños and the pickled ginger.
SCORE ONE JALAPENO
The jalapeño-heavy salsa brought the ginger to its knees and did away with any hint of the powerful, pink root.
I did get a dill pickle though. Weird.

The tuna. I die a little inside every time I think of the tuna. I know, unless it is a seafood restaurant don't expect much. But frig, this was a triangle of fishy doom slathered with Cajun spices. Unfortunately the spices weren't powerful enough and I could still taste the tuna.
To add to the mush was the guac which now hinted of wasabi. Actually the guac and wasabi could have made a nice nacho dip but here it was just adding to the problems.

Triangle-burning-fish-mush, you ruined my day, you asshole.

Well, I've come this far so I may as well finish it...
Uncreative bun selection (white), but that could not have saved the burger .
AND PLEASE! if you are going to add a liquidy ingredient, like salsa, on top YOU MUST GRILL THE BUN (the sog-barrier).

All in all, thank god I had beer...or three.

My Rating: Would you wear a sombrero with a kimono? I though not.